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Sunday, April 21, 2013

Boston - My Final Thoughts


So it's been a couple days now since that unforgettable Monday. I posted that night with my heart in my throat and with tears all over the keyboard. Writing it was easy, it was still fresh on my mind and it was the most heartfelt post I think I have ever written. I felt vulnerable and weak already so there was no holding back. Plus the couple beers I drank, I'm sure didn't help.

This week has been a crazy week at home. The phones have not stop ringing with friends and family wanting to talk to us. My work cell phone has also been buzzing like crazy. Our Facebook pages has been blowing up with alerts left and right. So much so, that I just could not keep up with them. The County paper and local paper contacted us wanting to write about our story of that day. After some discussion, we decided to talk to them just to get the story out there for people to read and hopefully stop all the calls and questions people had.

The wife and I asked for the week off from work and it was approved with no questions. Luckily, this is school vacation week for my youngest daughter so she was able to stay home with us. We have spent the week trying to keep busy going out and doing things. We have been trying to keep Monday our mind off.
Sleep, especially the first few days, were hard to come by. I think I slept 6-7 hours between Monday-Wednesday. Thursday, my brother-in-law, took my daughter for a while, which was good. It gave us the time alone to talk and just rest up without having to feel guilty of not keeping our daughter busy.

We are all getting the help we need. But it will take time for us to get back to to some kind of normal.

Friday, we, as well as the the rest of the country, and maybe even world, woke up to the news of the Marathon bombing suspects being just about caught. Trying to break away from the TV was hard, but we turned them off, shut off our phones and headed out for the day. We ended up in Mystic, Ct at the Mystic Seaport Museum. It was a perfect day for it. I wore my Boston Marathon shirt as part of the wear Boston on Friday and while there, I ran into another runner that ran the marathon on Monday. It was weird feeling. As soon as we saw each other we immediately started walking towards each other.


This is Justin, a history teacher from Natick, Ma. He crossed the finish line just minutes before the bombs going off. We talked for a while about the whole thing. It was great to talk to him. It was good to have someone understand what I felt. After a couple minutes we shook hands and parted ways...... but for a brief moment, we stood as one. 

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Now...... 

I hate that I feel this way, I truly do, especially with all the tragedy that has gone on this week... and I mean no disrespect to the families that have truly suffered because of this tragedy  But I am pissed. I am pissed off that I never got to finish this race. I am pissed that I never got to fulfill a lifetime dream. I am pissed that I was so close and I got this moment taken from me. Again, I mean NO disrespect to those that got hurt.... But that is how I feel. I wanted to finish. I wanted that medal around my neck. I wanted to post a great recap. I wanted pictures. I wanted that moment that I sooo tasted as soon as I saw the "1 Mile to go" sign on Commonwealth Ave. I conquered Boston that day. I did not cross the finish, but with my heart, which I left on the streets of Boston, I did cross that finish line. 

On Friday I plugged in my Garmin, which I totally forgot.... 



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Circled above was where I was stopped... according to my Garmin, it was mile 26.1. I know it's not 100% accurate, but shows how close I was... It also shows the craziness of me running around looking for my family. I swear I can recall every step.

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Its been a crazy week. We go back to work tomorrow and our youngest daughter goes back to school. I'm so not ready. I work with over 200 people locally and about a another 200 remotely..... I know people will have questions. Its only normal. But I really do not want to tell that story over and over. I'm just not ready. 

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And finally,... I want to thank everyone for the support, for the kind words and for just being there. From my blogger friends, people from certain website I visit, strangers and to family and friends. 

I truly believe that people are put in your life for a reason and that things happen for a reason. The things that happen in life lead you to where you need to be. The people that cross your path, whether by reason, season or for lifetime, help guide you in that direction. As much as sometimes things don't make sense, you have to learn to accept things and believe that you are part of something much bigger.

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I will eventually post a recap of My Boston Marathon experience. There was a lot of good that day, and I want to share with you.... stay tuned.

- Jose



7 comments:

Michelle Dragoo said...

I wish I had words. But know you are so very blessed to have your health...you finished, and strong, in my eyes and in my heart. xoxo

Michael said...

Every time I read your posts my heart just aches. It has been crazy for me to watch this on TV. I am constantly tearing up and find it so hard to believe someone could do this. But I can't imagine being there..having it be that much more real...having my family there. It will definitely take time for you guys to heal, to feel safe again.

I'm sorry you weren't able to cross that finish line. It would definitely feel like something was taken from you and it's not disrespectful to those that were impacted - you were impacted. I'm sure there are many, many runners who feel the same way.

Just keep trying to do everyday things and develop some sense of normalness in your life again.

At least we can all be happy that the bombers were caught and caught quickly!

Michelle said...

I wish I had some great words of comfort for you, I really do. Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family.

Kenley said...

I can not even imagine how you feel going through all of that. I am very glad and relieved to know that your family is okay and together in one piece. Very cool that your work let you take some time off as well. Please know that you and the family are in my family's Prayers. I heard that they were going to ship out the medals, but don't know how valid that is? You earned it. I hope to BQ some day. Thanks also for stopping by my place and leaving comments. You are always welcome anytime. God Bless man!

Char said...

I think I'd be pissed off too that I hadn't been able, through no fault of my own, to achieve my dream. You shouldn't feel bad about that anger. I think all runners understand it. I'm glad you can acknowledge it because you can't accept what's happened until you acknowledge how you feel.

protometal @ clippinalong.blogspot.com said...

Continued prayers for you & your family.

Coy Martinez said...

I can't imagine how overwhelming this must be. I had a few people ask me if I was there and I can't even qualify right now. It just keeps coming to the surface over and over again for you guys. I thought about that when watching the news the other day. All these police officers and patients and just everyone keeps reliving this tragedy over and over. Hopefully soon it'll subside.

In regards to Boston, I hope they make it right for those of you who were unable to finish and give you an automatic reentry next year.